To The Person…

… I wholeheartedly love.

See, it’s a present tense instead of a past tense. Once I begin to love someone, there’s no stopping it. I mean, how do you un-love someone? It is not something I can undo; it is just not how my heart works.

It has been a heaven of ride with you these past few years. Those countless exchanged messages, restless nights being too excited to meet you, nameless movies we watched together which I can’t seem to remember the story at all (me being Dory after all), loud chorus singing of our favorite songs on road trips,  strings of inside jokes, unique if not weird stuffs we got ourselves into, all the good food in between, and more importantly… you being there. I am not great at telling people how I feel and I might have taken you for granted at times; for those things I am truly sorry. Surely there are some bad times and bad decisions along the way, but they are nothing compared to the abundant wonderful moments we’ve shared.

However, here we are standing at the crossroads. It is not your fault, it is not my fault, it is not anyone’s fault. As everything must come to an end, this is just how far the road allows us to travel together. There is still a long future ahead for each of us, unfortunately heading to different directions. I used to think that as long as we are willing to work it together, we will make it out. I strongly want to believe in that, I really do. But after a long, careful thinking, I come into a conclusion that in life, there are just things that are not meant to be. As much as we pray to God, sometimes He says no. Therefore, it is time to let us go.

I would like to assure you that in spite of the smile I put on my face when I see you, deep inside there will always be this regret, sorry, and longing that I have to fight for the better of us. It is always in my best interest to see you in a happy place, even if it is not me who is there right beside you. You are an inerasable part of my life I will forever be grateful of. I was, am, and will always love you.

T.